Brothers Reunited
-- Jan Druckenmiller, May 2006
In taking on the task of the administration of the Rehoboth Children's Home in the Philippines, it is our goal to not only provide a safe haven for children who have been orphaned or abandoned by their birth families, but to also provide these children with a future and a hope through adoption. To date, seven children have left Rehoboth and are now living with their adoptive families in various parts of the world. More children have been matched and are waiting for that special day to come when their adoptive families will arrive at the Rehoboth Children's Home to get them. Carlo is one such child. Carlo entered the Rehoboth Children's Home in July, 2004 after being rescued from a very harmful, abusive situation. He is gradually recovering from the emotional scars of that experience and making good progress in the Home.
And now, the good news is that Carlo has been matched for adoption with a family in Italy! At the time of Carlo's matching, the International Adoption Board of the Philippines requested that our social worker at the Rehoboth Children's Home also look into the status of Carlo's siblings to determine where they were and if they were out of harm's way. This directive from ICAB came during the time when I was at the Rehoboth Children's Home in February. So, I joined Fe, the Deputy Administrator of the Rehoboth Children's Home and Eden, the social worker, on this quest.
We discovered that Carlo's 12 year old sister was living in a squatter area with a relative of Carlo's birthfather. The birthfather had been imprisoned as a result of his abusive treatment of Carlo and died after one year of internment. Carlo's birthmother did not have the capability to care for her children and so had disbursed them to various relatives. The relative caring for Carlo's sister took us to the school where she was attending so that we could meet her. At the age of 12, she was enrolled in the first grade due to her previous lack of education. Although the relative expressed the difficulty of another mouth to feed on their limited income from fishing, this girl seemed to be adequately taken care of.
As we left the school, the relative gave us directions to the house of another relative where Carlo's 8 year old brother was supposedly staying. When we arrived there, we were informed that Romeo had run away from the relative's home. He had been roaming the area and eventually taken in by another, unrelated family. We continued on to the house where Romeo was staying and spent some time talking with the family about the circumstances of how Romeo had come to be in their home. The more the family talked, the more evident was their concern for Romeo. An alphabet hung on the wall of their meager living quarters and we learned that their teenage son had been working with Romeo on learning to recognize his letters and write his name. Yet, there were some aspects of this living situation that we did not feel were safe for Romeo and, thus, told the family that we felt we needed to bring Romeo to the Rehoboth Children's Home. When Eden, our social worker, approached Romeo, he was resistant to the idea and walked away. Fe, Eden, and I conferred with each other and decided that we still needed to take Romeo out of that situation even if it meant carrying him. So, we called for Sid, the driver, to leave the van and come up to the house. I was relieved when Romeo walked down the road with the social worker grasping his arm tightly but making no attempts to run off. We loaded him into the van and the family who had been caring for him came down the road to the van to say their goodbyes. There were tears on their part and I found it curious that, in just a few month's time, they had bonded to this boy whom they had taken in off the street.
In arriving back at the Home, Romeo and Carlo were re-introduced to each other. Carlo immediately wrapped his arms around Romeo with a big smile on his face. Romeo said he remembered Carlo from when they were together in their birth family but was quite stand-offish. Fe provided Romeo with some clean clothes and told him that they were his. His face lit up at the prospect of having some clothes of his own. He was bathed and fed and we set up bunk beds in the boys' bedroom for he and Carlo to share. The next morning, Romeo joined Carlo in the Rehoboth Early Learning Center. As I sat in on the preschool class, I could see the delight in Romeo's face over being in an environment with so many interesting things to do and learn. He was an eager participant.
As the days went on, I could sense that Romeo was happy and content. He seemed relieved to be in a safe and secure environment where he could count on three meals a day and people to meet his needs. He quickly formed a bond with Romel, another 8 year old boy in the Home, and began to nurture the younger children. We saw him gradually warm up to Carlo and take on the role of big brother. Romeo especially loved learning the worship songs taught by one of the caregivers and would sing them wholeheartedly. One day, the older children had spent quite a lot of time putting together a large floor puzzle of Noah's ark and that same caregiver had shared the Biblical account with the children as they were doing the puzzle. That evening, when I was in the Home before the children's bedtime, Romeo proudly gave a dissertation in Tagalog, pointing to each part of the puzzle as he retold the story of Noah and the ark. I marveled over this boy who had so easily adapted to a new environment showing no hardness that you would expect to see in a child who had been roaming the streets. He exhibited a kind and caring spirit in spite of the abuse and neglect he had suffered.
One Saturday, I took the older kids to Jollibee's which, in the Philippines, is the equivalent of MacDonald's. When we arrived back at the Home, Romeo exited the van ahead of me and then turned and offered me his hand as I stepped down. I also discovered a picture he had drawn for me hanging on my office door. I thought how fitting his name was to his personality. He was certainly succeeding at wooing me! I began to hear "Thank you Mam Jan" everytime I encountered Romeo during the course of the day and puzzled over what exactly he was thanking me for. Then, on my last night at Rehoboth, I understood. I was in the playroom before bedtime with Carlo and Romeo seated on either side of me. Each of them spoke to me in turn in Tagalog and the caregiver who was in the play room at the time interpreted. She explained that Carlo was thanking me for bringing Romeo to Rehoboth and Romeo, likewise, was expressing his thanks for being brought to the Home. Although I felt that I actually had very little to do with that occurrence, their expressions of gratitude brought tears to my eyes.
Now that Romeo and Carlo have been reunited, it is our hope that the family who is adopting Carlo will also adopt Romeo. Romeo's paperwork is in process to legally clear him for adoption. Once it is completed, the adoptive family of Carlo will be informed that Romeo is also available. Please pray with us that these two brothers will be able to stay together and that they will continue to heal from their past.