5 Years and 50 Days
An Adoptive Families Personal Story ...
By Tony and Rhondda Dunne, Mt Gravatt, Queensland, Australia
I am getting goose bumps as I think about how and where to start.
This is the story of one of the four most exciting events of our lives (We married in February, Twenty years ago and have two biological sons Paul 16 and Michael 14). Then the arrival of our beautiful little girl - Hannah Jelly-Rose - Born 30th May 2004.
A few minutes before 4pm on the 24th of January Rhondda phoned me on the mobile crying, for the second time in a four days (the first time she and Michael had walked away from a "write off" car accident!). I thought oh no what now! - We had also just redone our medicals. She said Julie from DoCS has phoned - " we have a daughter" I was on the Gold Coast - By 5.15 we were together in the Department's office in Brisbane clutching a photo of Hannah all the waiting just melts away our prayers answered as we look at photo of the only child meant for us.
After being blessed with the Boys we were not able to have any more children. Though we yearned for more and for a girl. Amazingly Rhondda recalls talking about adopting from overseas before we were married.
In December 2000 we applied to adopt and four months later we attended a Department run information day - which left us rather flat but we persisted with the idea.
August 2002, we finally made it to Education Day. We made some great friends that day like David and Clarissa. Interestingly, not being critical of them but not one of the DoCS people there are still around today. Which proves how important the IAFQ Family is, because you are part of the forever family! This was also the day we discovered the IAFQ and Connie and John Camilleri - Plug into your support group as soon and as tightly as you can.
Our Assessment was finally finished in May 2003. Delayed by 3 months because I had to shed 9kg. In August 2003, the Intercountry Adoption Board in the Philippines approved us for adoption. By this stage we had moved into a new house and done up a bedroom to await our Princess. Whilst we waited and waited and waited! We went to three Mapleton Camps, one Philippine camp and umpteen Philippine Picnics. The boys became famous for looking after all the little ones - just adoring them. As our very good friends Dave and Denise Liddle say "Our Group is family" As Stich says " 'ohana means family and family means - no one is left alone" Over this time there were lots of prayers too from our Philippine friends at Citipointe.
Now back to that call after 5 years and 50 days. 24 hours later our documents were on the way to Manila, along with a dress and a toy Kangaroo. For the next seven weeks Rhondda drove everybody nuts to make sure we could travel as soon as possible - It worked. Medicals were done and hiccups occurred but on Thursday the 16th of March Rhondda rang me - this time I was in Melbourne! - she said we can travel on Monday 20th.
Thank you so much to the two exceptional ladies at Qantas in Brisbane who made it possible. There is a story in itself here - but they have asked to remain anonymous.
The four of us flew out on Monday morning arriving in Manila about 6 pm that night. The next morning at Breakfast we met the Hudeks and their daughter Angeline who were on the way back to Brisbane - that was very special. For the rest of the day we shopped and made ourselves very busy at the Mega Mall - one km long and five levels! We sort of slept that night.
The next morning Wednesday 22nd of March 2006 we met our social worker Imelda and took a maxi taxi the 80km 2.5 hour journey to Rehoboth Children's Home in Tanay. The moment we arrived We will never forget - the boys jumped out and "Mrs. Organised" was getting them to get the bags of Aid and our stuff out of the van she called out to me " what are you doing!) I was half spoke half cried "Look" - staring out through a window at me was our beautiful Hannah "swimming" in the dress we sent her and clutching the Kangaroo.
What a wonderful experience. All the frustration of waiting melts away. This was the first of several teary experiences that day The caregivers soon bought her outside to meet us all - She was overawed by it all - apparently the Filipinos don't have any idea what "stunned mullet" is but that was the look! Hannah had seen photos of Mumma, Daddy and her Kuya's - big brothers but now we were real.
Rehoboth has an apartment for new families to stay in and this was so special. It allowed us to learn about Hannah's environment for the past 16 months. Shortly after arriving, Imelda went back to Manila and we went up to the unit with Fe and Eden who looked after us beautifully. Hannah fell asleep standing up against Fe hugging her legs. Who are these aliens? - Fe took the opportunity to leave her in Rhondda's arms and we all took turn to cuddle Hannah and have our photos taken - who knew when the next chance would be!
Several hours later whilst looking at a book - Hannah said her first word to us "Fish" - I cried again. Another hour or so she said "Daddy" - Yep I did it again.
In the afternoon we went down for playtime with Hannah singing out " Hello" to everyone. What a chatterbox - saving all her words up. We played with her and some of the other children. Wow as she would say. The next morning we headed back to Manila - Caregivers left behind very sad with Hannah waving and calling out "Bye".
Her vocabulary is excellent. However she was using several words we had no idea of what she was saying - not sure if it was Tagalog or baby talk. At a welcome home party with our Filipino Church group her Tito's (aunties) explained when she banged on the door saying "Labas" - this means outside and the strange word "Halika" actually meant (you) come (with me).
We spent the next five days staying in a 2-bedroom suite at the Holiday Inn Galleria in Manila. We visited Markets, Shops and Historic sites. We bought traditional clothes for all of us and dined with friends who live in Manila.
All the while Hannah bonded with us all within a day or two and was comfortable with being out and about and with our friends. She happily sat in a stroller and walked a lot too. We needed the stroller for all the clothes the five of us bought.
Soon it was like she had been there forever. Her first experience with Ice cream was a scream and had us in fits of laughter - Hannah included. We played games in the Hotel suite like hide and seek and tickle monster she would run laughing to Mumma. Night sleeps were a challenge until we worked out she hated the travel cot and when we got home she went straight into the bed her Kuya Michael had made for her.
On the Monday before we left we went to ICAB to pick up Hannah's documents and met with the head of the department who chatted to the boys about their feelings. They are absolutely besotted with her and the normal teenage blues seem to be replaced by whose turn to play with Hannah. Next day after more shopping and yummy food experiences we set off for Manila Airport. As we looked at the queue longer than the Mega Mall we were thankful that as Qantas Club members that queue only had two people in it. We had dinner in the Lounge and then hopped on the Plane bound for Sydney. Hannah pretty much slept til we got there. My Mum and Dad came out to the lounge during our three-hour stopover there to meet their "Little Princess". Of course she was a little shy for a while but did manage to talk to them and say "Bye bye". By the way as I write this on my own Rhondda has taken Hannah to Hobart to meet her Gran and Grandpa who are visiting from NZ. - Quite a Jetsetter!
Hannah slept all the way to Brisbane and as we came off the plane - there was the PSGQ welcoming committee and other dear friends. Then we noticed a video camera with Dave Liddle behind it! We went back to our place for a Party. Hannah played with three or four other children like she had known them forever and giving them orders!
Five weeks after arriving home, we have settled into routines sort off. It takes an extra 30 minutes to go anywhere and Rhondda has been spotted rocking shopping trolleys off to sleep when Hannah's at home with me. Most night she sleeps through with only one wake up.
Hide and Seek is like Ground Hog Day - we can happily hide from Mumma in the same place four times in a row. Eating is great and we she has great speech for her age. She loves books and her swings.
We are looking forward to meeting up with one of her "roomies" later this month and of course the rest of the PSGQ and IAFQ communities at International Day and then going to Mapleton as a multicultural family finally.
People kept telling us how lucky she was - but we feel we are the blessed ones.
Cheers
Tony, Rhondda, Paul, Michael and Hannah Dunne